Needs in time of grief

I attend grief support group regularly at The Healing Center. The primary benefit is being able to sit in a circle for an hour and a half with people who have been through a loss experience (loss of a loved one) and do two simple things - tell your story, and listen to theirs. It's not therapy - for that I see a therapist. For me, the value of being around people who have suffered a similar loss is huge - because they get it in a way others don't. They understand the depth of pain, the loneliness, the brain fog, the despair, the inability to function, the missing of touch, the loss of shared moments, and the challenges of building life anew.

Each person's story is different, and the process each is going through unique. But there are always points of commonality, and the opportunity to bear silent witness to the other person's struggle is a gift. My own healing progresses when I get out of my own head and am empathetic to others, and learn practical things about how they are coping or simply hearing about their struggle makes my own somehow more bearable.

Everyone has different economic circumstances and worries, family and friend support structures, and personalities and coping and functional skills. The Healing Center does provide an avenue for emotional support and a community of kind, caring, like-minded individuals. But what doesn't exist is a place someone in profound loss can go to navigate the challenges of life without your loved one - advice, counsel, and direction for overall wellness, nutrition, exercise, stress reduction, parenting help, financial planning, care and comfort, meals and household help (cleaning, organizing), gardening, etc. What seemed doable when you had a life partner seems daunting and impossible when you are alone and in grief. Many faith traditions provide a community of support and care teams to help those who are members of that community, but when you are not a part of such a community where do you go for help?

What I've learned is that what seems like an easy task to someone on the outside - such as cleaning your home - can be a huge challenge to someone in the throes of grief, enough to send them to the floor in despair.